Pronoun Guide

This guide to pronoun usage reflects Fanshawe’s commitment to fostering a respectful and inclusive environment for all, including 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals, Indigenous communities, racialized persons, and people with disabilities. Using correct pronouns helps gender-diverse and non-binary folks feel seen, respected, and validated.  

Inclusive language promotes belonging and can help reduce discrimination, which is recognized under the Ontario Human Rights Code. This guide offers practical tools to build understanding, encourage respectful communication, and support equity across our campus.

Sex and Gender

The Gender Unicorn is a resource to help you understand different aspects of sex, gender and attraction. Gender identity is how your brain thinks about yourself. Gender expression is how you choose to physically represent that identity. Sex assigned at birth refers to the reproductive organs and biological characteristics that determine the gender you are assigned at birth. Physical and emotional attraction are separate attractions that determine whom you feel a connection with.

Using Pronouns

Some folx use singular pronouns (e.g., she or he), others use what many consider ‘plural’ pronouns (e.g, they) and some use both. It isn’t wrong for people to use singular binary pronouns. Many cisgender and transgender people identify with singular binaries. The main point to take away is not to assume someone’s pronouns or gender identity based on their gender expression.

Some people may introduce themselves with multiple pronouns. For some, this may seem confusing at first, but what they are indicating to you is that you can use the pronouns interchangeably or use one or another. For instance, someone may introduce themselves  using ”she/they.” This indicates that they are (or she is) comfortable with, and will respond to, both. It’s a good idea to ask people with multiple pronouns if they prefer one over the other.

It’s also a good idea to listen to the person to see how they refer to themselves in any given situation. They may use different pronouns in different environments, depending on how safe they feel.  Always make note of what pronouns they are using if they introduced themselves to you initially using multiple pronouns.

Resources on Personal Pronouns

Neo-pronouns and alternate pronoun

Gender-neutral pronouns are becoming more popular as people become more aware of the arbitrary role of gender. The idea is to use language that doesn’t carry an association with a particular gender, most notably he and she. It’s becoming fairly common practice to use the term they as a gender-neutral pronoun, however there are alternatives that people may use.
 

Often people will ask about they being a plural and referring to more than one person. This is a common use of they in modern English, however, they being used in the singular dates back to Middle English in the 14th century. In a way, using they in the singular in modern English is just returning the word to its roots as a singular or a plural.

Another common way of addressing someone without an association with gender is to simply refer to that person by name, and not use any pronouns at all. Some people prefer this if they don’t identify with any gender.

We will often refer to words that haven't evolved in the natural language as neo-pronouns. Neo-pronouns express something unique about someone and their experience of gender. They can be trickier to learn, but it is important to respect these pronouns. The examples in the table are Xe and Ze, but there are many others like Ney, Nem, Nir or Fae, Faer, Faers.

In Anishinaabemowin, Wiin (pronounced ween) is used in place of she, he, him and her. There is no indication of male or female, just that the other person is speaking.

In Mohawk, referring to someone as man or male is Ron:kwe, referring to someone as woman or female is Iakon;kwe, referring to a single individual is On:kweOnkweshon:a, referring to multiple people is Onkweshon:a, and referring to someone who is two-spirit is Tékeni:otkon

It’s also worth noting the use of Ki and Kin in Indigenous cultures. Ki and Kin are used to refer to the natural world around us and replace the word ‘it’ in English. This is a direct relation to the fact that in some traditional Indigenous languages, gender is a newer concept and was not originally a part of the culture. It’s an alternate way of talking about non-human forms of life and other objects in the world. An example would be, ”Oh look at that maple tree, ki is starting to bloom.”

Asking Someone their Pronouns

The easiest way to find out someone’s pronouns in a group setting is to introduce yourself with your own pronouns. This creates a space where others will feel comfortable sharing their pronouns should they choose. For example, ”My name is Tyrell, I use they/them pronouns.” Do not ask what people’s pronouns are if they don’t volunteer them in a group setting as they may not be out. Instead use their name or they/them. In general, you should use the gender neutral they until you know how someone identifies.

In a one-on-one situation, you can also use the tactic of introducing yourself with your own pronouns. Most of the time the person you are speaking with will respond in kind with the same type of introduction. If they do not respond that way, asking them what their pronouns are is the simplest way to find out. “What are your pronouns, if you’d like to share?” or “Do you mind me asking what pronouns you use?” are both acceptable ways of asking someone their pronouns. This gives them privacy to share pronouns with an ally.

Do not ask someone about their preferred pronouns. Pronouns are not a preference. They are an extension of someone’s identity. When we use the term preference it implies that there are alternatives that are valid, when there aren’t. Simply asking them about their pronouns and not their preferred pronouns is another sign of respect and validation.

Mistakes and Misgendering

Mistakes happen. If you make a mistake, simply apologize and move on. Remember the experience and do not make the same mistake again. Making it more complicated can make it awkward for both you and the person you accidentally used the wrong pronouns with. As with anything new, it’s a learning process, and apologizing quickly and moving on shows respect to the other person and shows that you are trying to learn.

Purposely misgendering people over and over has a negative psychological effect on the person you are misgendering and is a violation of the Ontario Human Rights Code. It’s important that we learn from our mistakes and try to correct them. Making a mistake once (or twice) is fine, but consistently misgendering someone will lead to an atmosphere of distrust with that person and will cause them to assume they’ll have a negative experience with you.

Respecting Pronouns

For many cisgender folx, they may never even think about their pronouns because no one has ever misgendered them or questioned their pronouns. But correct pronoun use is a sign of respect and affirmation of someone else’s gender identity. Using someone’s correct and self-identified pronouns can make the difference between having a positive experience or a negative experience with the person with whom you are interacting.

Pronouns are also one of the main ways people identify us, which doesn’t occur with other aspects of who we are. Walking into a space, people will make assumptions about gender identity and use incorrect, gendered pronouns automatically. No one would ever say, “Look, a mechanic just walked into a room,” without first knowing their profession, but they might say, “Look, she just walked into the room,” before knowing their pronouns. Asking a person their pronouns before you gender them is a way to make sure people aren’t on the defensive whenever they walk into a space.
 

Why Pronouns Matter For Trans People (video)

Updating your Pronouns

To add your pronouns to FanshaweOnline:

1. Log into FanshaweOnline
2. Click on your name
3. Click Account Settings
4. Select Account Settings tab
5. Select the checkbox “Allow others to see my pronouns”
6. Select the radio button “Use different pronouns”
7. Type in the pronouns you would like to use
8. Select Save and Close